Quarter-Life Crisis

Planning for the future sucks

“What if I never get better? What if I don’t succeed, and my plans don’t work out?”

“I’m scared. I’m not ready to be a grown-up. I just graduated college and am not prepared for all this adulting sh*t.”

“I go to work but have no interest in that job. Everyone is so proud and ‘impressed’ by me, but I feel like a little kid wearing an adult costume.”

“I want to make sure I end up with the right person, but is he the ‘right one’ for me? And I want to make sure I am in the right career but is this the career ‘of my dreams’ that will make me happy?

“I don’t know. What if, 10 or 20 years from now, I find myself unhappy, divorced, and hating my job?”

“I think about these things all the time. I question myself constantly.”

Sound familiar?

Olivia* had checked off all the boxes of success: good grades, good school, and a good degree. Yet, she felt anxious during her graduation ceremony and questioned the direction of her life.

At 22, she figured she would be certain about what she wanted to do, be, and have – but instead, she felt completely lost. Her girlfriend was supportive but rather flaky. She enjoyed engineering – but not really.

And like most of her friends, she had to move home after graduation from a top UC because who can afford their place in the Bay Area anyways?

When it all feels wrong

But secretly, Olivia was relieved to be back at home with her mom and dad. She felt inadequate in comparison to her friends and prodigal classmates, so it was nice to have the pressure of providing for herself being taken off her shoulders.

After several months of working at an engineering firm, hanging out with her girlfriend, and living a post-grad life, she couldn’t shake the feeling that this is all wrong.

She was consumed by her insecurity, doubt, and disappointment related to her career, relationships, and financial situation. Worst of all she felt alone.

She wanted someone to whom she could talk – to voice her doubts about her career choice, her girlfriend, and where her life was headed.

Dazed and confused to clear and content

This is when Olivia called me. I listened. She talked. I asked thoughtful questions, and she provided thoughtful answers.

Over time, Olivia was able to admit she had chosen her major and job “to please my mom and dad.” She acknowledged how her girlfriend was “nice but not the one for me” and reevaluated where she was headed.

She developed the courage to inform mom and dad that she wanted to attend graduate school for… wait for it… PSYCHOLOGY. We rehearsed what she would say, how she would respond if her mom blew up or her dad started to cry (she was worried, you guys!), and she did it.

She’s now content learning about the mind and looks forward to becoming an Engineering Psychologist – legit. It exists!