The connection you crave
You are a social being. And whether you know it or not, you are interacting with people all the time. Even when you are home alone, scrolling through social media and watching Netflix – you are connecting with the people in the posts you see and have reactions toward the actors in the show you are watching.
Thus, how about we work on improving your relationship as a social being in a social environment?
Group therapy is a way for you to create genuine and authentic connections with other young women who are dealing with the same issues.
As a result, you – a) don’t feel so alone; b) learn and feel inspired by them and the badass actions they are taking in between group sessions; c) provide support and compassion to other group attendees and learn to give the same understanding to yourself; and d) feel seen and heard, not just by a therapist, but a handful of young women who get it and support you at your worst, warts and all.
Case in point: Annie*
Annie was 24 and bisexual. During her undergrad and post-grad life, she had benefitted from her attendance in therapy off-and-on – mostly on – for the past four years. Thanks to her experiences in therapy, she learned how to improve her communication, stopped dating toxic partners, and even lost 10 pounds!
Given her growth and progress thanks to therapy, Annie was more open to talking to her friends and family about her feelings and had been reading more self-help books (Rachel Hollis, anyone?). She was attending therapy weekly… but she wanted more.
“What more did Annie want?”
She wanted to be in a space with other young women, 20-somethings, who were doing the deal – college, career, dating, becoming more independent from mom and dad – while focusing on improving themselves.
She wanted a place where she could be authentic, talk about her struggles, and get feedback and support from other young women going through the same thing. But where could she find such a place?
Annie told her therapist how she was looking to find such a place, and her therapist responded plainly, “You’re talking about group therapy.” Annie realized: “Group therapy – yes, that’s it!” She proceeded to Google “group therapy for young women” and came across my groups.
Based on her different needs, Annie joined different groups that I offered at different times. She loved the group focused on boundaries since her boundaries weren’t so great (she was a “yes” girl to everyone and everything… to a fault).
She enjoyed her attendance for a year in the book club group because she had always loved reading inspirational fiction, non-fiction, and self-help books but was never able to apply the values to her everyday life.
Boundary Badass Group
Feeling like a doormat? Do you often say, “Yes, of course” when you really feel like saying, “F*ck no?” Or do you have the habit of putting everyone else’s needs above your own? You’ve come to the right place!
Boundary Badass is a weekly group session where we will talk about that ever-elusive topic: boundaries.
Karen’s* lack of boundaries
Karen was a 28-year old Latinx, wondering if she was “codependent.” She had a problem with boundaries – she literally was not able to discern where she “ended” and other people “began” – because she was always getting caught up in helping, supporting, comforting, and taking care of others.
As a child, Karen had been complimented by her mom and dad for being “such a good girl,” while they dealt with her more rebellious siblings. At school, she always got compliments from her teachers for her maturity and helpful manners.
As a friend, she was there when you called. As a girlfriend, she was available to her boyfriend’s every need (including having sex when she really didn’t want to). And, as an employee, she often was complimented by her bosses for always meeting her sales quota (sometimes exceeding 100%) and frequently stayed up late decorating the office since she volunteered as the “unofficial” party planner.
She was lowkey over being the “good girl”
Despite all the praise for being so considerate of others, Karen often felt resentful, taken advantage of, and taken for granted. She started reading up online about stress and anxiety but quickly realized and resonated with what she read about boundaries.
“Oh my God. I suck at boundaries.” She called me, and, given her current needs, we decided together that it would be best for her to attend the Boundary Badass Group.
During the first few sessions, Karen learned about why she was unable to say no (“I was terrified of disappointing people.”), how she had been reinforced by her parents, especially her mother, to be a helpful daughter (“My mom was a people-pleaser, too. She always hosted our family parties and was my Team Mom, but then she was really grumpy and angry behind closed doors.”), and ways that she could start putting her needs in front of others (“I found out that it was okay for me to say ‘No’ to help my mom set up for the next family party since I had no interest in being there”).
Karen learned to establish boundaries
After completing the group, Karen found herself feeling more confident, assertive, and better able to prioritize herself over others at home, work, and with friends.
She is now looking forward to breaking the cycle of people-pleasing in her family and supporting her friends when they too say ‘No’ since she’s respecting her own boundaries and those of others.
If you want to experience the same change as Karen, read on and let’s talk about having you join the group.
Become a boundary badass
Boundary Badass is tailored for young women (ages 20-35) who need direction and skills to create boundaries with friends, family, coworkers, etc. and learn how to MAINTAIN THEM.
The group is an 8-week format where we will cover topics related to the pros and cons of people-pleasing, where you learned poor boundaries, the long-term consequences of putting yourself “last,” and so on.
Group activities will include fun assignments and accountability to ensure you are building momentum throughout our time together.
Book Club with Your Therapist Group
It’s like Book Club… but better! Do you find yourself reading inspiring books (self-help, fiction, non-fiction, and poetry), wanting to implement aspects of the book in your everyday life, and then the book just ends up collecting dust, so your #bestlifeever never really starts?
You are in luck, sis! Bibliotherapy is a therapeutic approach where books are used in therapy to help clients make change. In this group, we will be reading an amazing book on a monthly basis, and I will break down the book to discuss during our group sessions.
The break down will include writing prompts, active reflections, and making commitments to carry out during the week in between sessions in order to apply the principles of the book in your everyday life. We also will criticize the books (e.g., “It seems like this book was only written for privileged white guys.”) and provide a space for you to talk about any problems, reactions, or disappointments you had while reading.
Upcoming books include: You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero; The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruis; Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis; and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson.
*Names have been changed to protect confidentiality.