The time has come baby girl
To let your armor down
To stop carrying the weight of the world
And save yourself so you don’t drown
You’ve tried so hard
You’ve done it all
A’s on every report card
And helping others when they fall
Your family and friends
Look up at you on a pedestal
You’ve been such a good girl
You’ve never broken any rule
Your posts are “tres chic”
You look happy and confident
But behind those eyes and that smile
Is a little girl who feels the opposite
You’ve been described as “so thoughtful”
Smart, strong, and kind
Little do they know
You neglect yourself to cope with all the grind
“If they really knew me, they’d turn away”
You feel like a fraud
A fake
A phony actress in a sh*tty play
So, you try and push harder
Be who they want you to be
But it feels like you’re wearing a corset
And it is becoming harder and harder to breathe
You realize this pedestal of yours
Is really made of sand
You’re wide-eyed and anxious
Looking for a safe space to land
The time has come baby girl
To put your armor down
Perfectionism is like an anchor
And, without help, you know you’ll eventually drown
The stress, the anxiety
You’re pushing yourself to the brink
It is time to pick up the phone
And make the appointment with the shrink
“Marissa seems cool,
Maybe she will understand”
Little do you know
I’ve journeyed through the same treacherous land
I’m here for you
Ready for you to make the call
I will sit across from you with compassion
While you admit to feeling so small
I’ll listen and nod
You’ll cry and speak
You’ll share all those thoughts and feelings
And how you judge yourself for being “so weak”
I’ll challenge the lies
And all your negative self-talk
We will get to the root of where that came from
And you’ll soon be struttin’ when you walk
You will learn to use your voice
Give yourself permission to take up space
You’ll find your worth
And have a confident smile on your face
The time has come, baby girl
Pick up the godd*mn phone
There’s no time like the present
To put an end to this madness of going it alone
-Marissa Esquibel
May 17, 2020